Being present at work,

feb 27 (3)All books and notes have lovely doodles drawn along the border, these are times I realized that I was physically present, but my conscious mind, or rather awareness had taken the flight.  When this realization hit me, I also realized so many times we mechanically do things without actually being there.

Yet whenever, I have been fully present to the work I find the entire experience is filled with a different energy and seem to have a new life. Here’s what I learnt over the past 21 days of creating an intention of being 100% present at the task at hand.

During our hypnotherapy training Dr.Yuvraj Kapadia, actually made us realize the being aware, being present concept. It starts with the intention to bring consciousness into everything we do, including those activities that we earn our livelihood from.  It could be something so simple as sweeping and swabbing the house in the morning, or kneading the dough for roti’s doing it consciously definitely  improves the quality of the work performed, and the experience is more fulfilling.

There is this concept during a Bharatnatyam performance, I am so and so telling the story of so and so,  if we could bring this factor to our workplace particularly when we are handling the project for others,  that is I am Parwati and  I render this skill of mine to this project  I would be more committed instead of being resentful at being pushed around. It also allows me to perform the task in all integrity because I know what I am committing myself to. This awareness, has reduced the level of frustration me.

Just incase you would like to experiment with this, then I would recommend setting an intention in morning to stay present as the day unfolds,  to create an intention to enjoy every moment during the day. most importantly before going to bed, bring your awareness back to you, thank the universe for the wonderful experience and just notice what happens in your space.

I mean this is just an experiment you never know what would pop up for you.

The Lords of the Road

picture courtsey internet
picture courtsey internet

The bus slowly stops, the door opens allowing the hot air inside, suddenly one becomes aware of how cool it was within the bus. it also allows a swarm of people who barricade the entrance these the  “auto drivers,”

These people are a tourists first exposure to the city. You can be assured that they will fleece.  One particular trip from Mehendipattanam to Himmayatnagar I had been fleeced off 150/Rs. so this time round I got off the bus and told the swamp of auto drivers that I had someone coming to pick me, after picking my luggage I walked a distance  where a lone auto driver was waiting. I asked him will you turn on the meter, he said yes,and guess what the fare was 97/-

At Bangalore from Malleshwaram to Infantry road the first day I was charged 115/- mind you this by the meter, next day I happened to mention to the auto guy that I would need a lift for the entire month and guess what he shuts  meter down and tells me 90/Rs is what you pay no matter who you pick up on the stand. Interestingly one day in between there was a new guy and he turns the meter on, and guess what the fare was 80/Rs.

Bangalore auto guys go where they want to go, and not where you would like to go, so until you find an auto that goes your direction you just keep walking. Oh! Yes if you ask to turn the meter he will drive away without answering you, if there is a cop around you might get a polite answer ”meter kettide amma” that is the meter is dysfunctional.

Call them Tuk-tuk or auto rickshaw, or just an auto, they rule road. the Hyderabad traffic police ran a media opinion on how to tackle this huge power that controls the road.. here were some suggestions that came up. Which the Hyderabad traffic cell is considering quite seriously

  • Auto bay’s at every bus-stop and railway station. It should be at distance that allows passengers to disembark.
  • Auto bay’s at theatre ‘s, malls etc. that are authorized to park at that particular bay. Unauthorized autos should not be permitted.
  • The RTO should apps that allow standardized charges; this can be coordinated with the passengers mobile.
  • One stop helpline for auto-users both the drivers and the passengers.
  • GPS based security systems.
  • Educate the rickshaw driver.
  • Authorized price hike, at periodic intervals, to be announced to the public.
image courtsey internet
image courtsey internet

The Bangalore RTO has appeals made to the auto drivers, and Sudeep the current popular star models for them. Bangalore has also made it compulsory for the details of the autodriver to me displayed on the back of the drivers seat so that it is visible to the passenger. One auto driver told me, “Whenever you get into an auto just photograph this on your mobile in case the auto driver overcharges or misbehaves you have his details to complain to the cops.”

Unless we stand for ourselves nothing we will be run over.

Sammohan Vs.Vashikaran.. trying to understand this.

image courtesy internet
image courtesy internet

I was a sceptic when I did my introductory course in Hypnosis, there was a definite improvement in situation, and also since I am actively involved tobacco rehabilitation, one of the therapeutic options that I thought could work was Hypnotherapy.

The second level, well lets leave it at that. I had still not shared this with anyone.

Finally I decided to complete the curriculum, that meant sharing it with my family, and guess what  anger- disbelief to ridicule I faced it all.

I realized most people experienced Bhibhatsa one of the navarasa that is fascination yet repelling, there is a hint of fear and shade of romanticism. Wondering what this entire word play is about is it?

Well think about it, there is romanticism about going to the past life finding out various aspects, then there is the fear of  loosing control, we are constantly bombarded by information bytes which depict hypnosis as a tool where one person controls the other. We also  fascinated about the mind per say wondering what would be trapped in its annals, and then we are repelled by the notion of having to face the dark negative side of our own self.

Then I realized that we had such a misconception about hypnosis. Since we think of it as an interchangeable word for summohan vidya and vashikarana vidya which are tantric in nature.

Sammohan  is very similar to Hypnosis where we go into the subconsicious, though I cannot say about Sammohan technique in an authoritative way, i can do so with hypnosis, for here we are accessing our own subconscious, the beliefs we harbour and what has lead us to harness that belief. The hypnotherapist can only enhance a belief. But the control is with the person who wants the belief to be dealt with.

As a therapist, I can only guide a person, and not command or push neither can I deliver a judgement to a situation. It is very individual, personal and experiential.

When it comes vashikaran i am told, it is about control from outside, sometimes external free energies are use (we’ll figure this out when we talk entities and spirits) but yes this is the world of curses, black magic and oaths. Though difficult for the modern mind to accept these do work, and they work on our belief systems.

The minute I was able to explain the difference between vashikaran and sammohan, there was a little more peace.  Words like subconscious and awareness seem to acceptable like the concept of free choice which is an integral part of hypnotherapy.

If any of you anything else to add please feel free


Pondering over twin souls

image courtesy internet
image courtesy internet

Twin souls…

I heard about twin souls, and split souls for the first time from Dr.Yuvraj Kapadia. I then did what I do when I am challenged, read…

Soul is like the collective consciousness, a drop of which descends into the earth school for an experience. It gets endowed with mind and body, the mind would have imprints of choices and lessons from a past life.

In rare cases there could be a twin soul that is real split soul.  Walter Semkiv likens it to  the beams that fall from the same source. Further reading assures me that a soul is  made up of 12 such flames and only one flame incarnates on to this planet at a time.

With the earth’s vibration now going to 40 oscillations, Mother earth seems to be ascending to a  higher state of consciousness, so the Lord of Karma,  has allowed more than one flame to incarnate at this time, so karmic, debts, links, cords attachments can be worked through and purification occurs.

As he explained  about the souls who incarnated in Lemuria, and how these souls had a definite Karma to work through since the world was in the 7th dimensional state and therefore their karmic resolutions were not applicable to other twin flames.

The 7th dimensional state was of much higher frequency hence lighter and totally different.  the souls of Lemuria were androgynous beings. That is male and female existed in a single body.  pain, hurt and separation in form was not known sisnce there was no gender difference and the Yin and Yang being balanced meant that they were in perfect harmony with each other.

Somewhere there was an experiment which was the Atlantis and the life formed was the 5th dimensional state, this was different from the Lemurians, as the Atlanteans started making their presence felt, and interaction began taking place the androgynous Lemurians, encountered the bodily forms where there two distinct genders.

It was then they realized that the Atlanteans had something that they did not have, the sexual union, which the Lemurians felt they were losing on procreation, was not a part of their need, they could do it without physicality.

So there came High Priests who decided to experiment on splitting the androgynous form, and more Lemurians came forth for this, choice of tampering with the divine law, came with karmic baggage, sexual energy was addictive and the Lemureans did not know the secret rites associated with correct use of these energies.

The Lemurians realized they could merge with sexual union with as many other halves as they wished and they could have it with Altanteans as well, this of course came with repercussions.

This brought in the negativity in the Lemurian society, that just sent the society spiralling down, they found themselves drifting from their own half and getting sexually involved  halves that did not belong to them. this created a sense of void.

The void, is an intense sense of loss that started to haunt the souls who did split in Lemuria,  and infighting, anger, war and strife entered the world of Lemuria causing such a war that Lemuria sank right into the sea.

These souls are so much into the journey to find their true half, they need to go through so much of clearing and cleansing.

Edgar Cayce in his reading goes on to say in 106.000 BC God realized that humans were lonely so divided and pulled the feminine side  to create couples so that humans either had a feminine body or male. Whether male or female, both the beings were equal, one of half of the male body was the male consciousness while the other half was female. These energies co-exist quite harmoniously like the poles of a magnet.

Cayce’s contention is to achieve full consciousness we must reunite with our twin flame and the other half of us, for that is essential for us to start our journey back to the source, the great oneness that is the goal for all of us.

This is an entire different thought process to what we are used it, and to assimilate is nearly impossible. But on an academic plane I do find it an interesting possibility.

Magna Mater… the Omnipotent shapelifter…

image courtesy internet
image courtesy internet

This mother’s day Godrej Expert Rich Crème celebrates my first expert.  Let’s celebrate the universal motherhood, the instinct to nurture. The essence of the mother in each one of us, something that will give us the strength that borders cruelty occasionally such that the child soars in the wide skies and experiences the oceanic depth of this journey called life.

There is this new disorder that has popped up, the disorder of the “Magna Mater” the symptoms are seen as the omnipotent mother who can shape lift, PMT’s are not allowed, lack of information is not acceptable… of course these mothers are blessed by Google Mata.

Motherhood what I have learnt is not about sacrificing.  Neither my mother nor my grandmother ever sat with through my homework. I didn’t dare ask my mother for help.  My grandmother though a Sanskrit and Telgu scholar and a MSc. Math, would just send me trotting to the nearest library.  We were expected to resolve our playground fights at the playground.  These days if you notice the kids don’t go to the play ground unescorted,  an hovering adult is like a body guard the child does not learn the primary lesson of life that defining boundaries.

If there was a single piece of something left then it was divided by the number of people on the dining table, there was no question of mother giving up for kids, what I learnt was that mother is individual she has just as much right to the cakes, biscuits and off tava dosa as I did.

In my clinic have near break down mothers, who come saying that their daughters do not talk to them, well, daughters do not confide in their mothers, an older sibling, an aunt or a best friend are usually the confidants, this whole thing of my mother is my best friend is overdone, a mother is a mother, and not a peer.  Then there are mothers who seem to confuse their kid for trophy and others who find it very difficult to accept that the child’s progress report is not theirs.

God bless the feminist movement, the father plays an equally important role.  To the boy child, he becomes the role model, in most cases they tend to replicate the father’s behaviour. While to the girl the father is the male prototype in her life. If a child brings home a trophy the girl child would flaunt it to the father first, the son of course would share it with mother.

The best way to honour the mother’s that my generation had would be to appreciate the way they sensitized us to the various aspect of nurturing, and how the balance between the daughter-wife – mother needed.  That nurturing was not about doing things for kids, but nurturing is about being there for the kids when they ask for help. Nurturing is about casting the kid out of the nest so that they learn how to spread their wings.

By the way mother s and daughter’s really become friends and each other’s support system only when the daughters grow up. Of course there are daughters like mine who slip into this equation much earlier but it is rather less common.

Sharing something from Sarojini Naidu

bannikaleshwari, the universal mother
bannikaleshwari, the universal mother

When spring winds wakened the mountain floods,
And kindled the flame of the tulip buds,

When bees grew loud and the days grew long,
And the peach groves thrilled to the oriole’s song,

Queen Gulnaar sat on her ivory bed,
Decking with jewels her exquisite head;

And still she gazed in her mirror and sighed:
“O King, my heart is unsatisfied.”

Queen Gulnsar’s daughter two spring times old,
In blue robes bordered with tassels of gold,

Ran to her knee like a wildwood fay,
And plucked from her hand the mirror away.

Quickly she set on her own light curls
Her mother’s fillet with fringes of pearls;

Quickly she turned with a child’s caprice
And pressed on the mirror a swift, glad kiss.

Queen Gulnaar laughed like a tremulous rose:
“Here is my rival, O King Feroz.”


bio oilWhen you ask a mother of 23yrs, to share memories, you are creating Frankenstein monster.  These moments are there, they are the ones that root me to the earth. When I am down and lonely they are all there to nourish me back. When it comes to my daughters there are very few bad moments, there are of course few moments of anxiousness, even when I think of my daughters all that brings is a wonderful smile and a great sense of joy.

Somewhere I thank the dude upstairs for giving me opportunity of nurturing these lovely human beings.  I remember my older daughters first attempt at conversation, she would utter absolutely gibberish sounding phonetics and when we asked her to repeat it, she would repeat the same phonetics and the third time she would repeat it with irritation reflecting in her voice.  I had promised myself that I shall do my best to keep her 1000 watts smile intact there were times that I have not kept the promise I made to myself.  But always remind myself.

One most amusing memory of her, was she was a very knowledgeable 5yr.old when I was at Dharwad recuperating from an accident early morning at 6.30 her hair, (it is absolutely straight so it does not get tussled) a little out of the coconut tree on her head, she got out of bed and ran to her grandmother.

My mother-in-law as usual asked,”tula kai kayecha” that is what would you like to eat. And madam promptly replies carrot halva. My mother-in-law was a bit taken aback since this kid didn’t normally like sweets. And carrot halva for breakfast is definitely not an idea that self respecting mothers and grandmothers approve. So she told her, I’ll make it for lunch.  My daughter looked at her and told her, but there carrots so make it now.

To get out of a brewing war, MIL told her, “I do not know how to make it, let  kaku come, I’ll ask her and then make it”

“I know I’ll tell you” came the prompt reply.

“okay tell me,” challenged MIL

Here is the recipe as instructed by my 5yr. Old,”

Carrot gayecha, ie take the carrot,

mag, ashi ashi karaicha” she didn’t know the word for scrapping the carrot all she could do was to demonstrate with action, she then tells,

”ashi ashi kapaicha” again she was not sure about how to tell her to grate, so got the grater and demonstrates, she didn’t know that grating and cutting were different verbs, kapaicha is to cut in Marathi.

atta, baanali ge baanali is wok in Kannada, tyachat thup gaal, i.e. take a wok and pour some ghee into it, atta kaju, kismish gaal— i.e. add raisins and cashew,

Dhood gaal, sakkar gaal, ani carrot gaal — that translates to add milk, sugar and carrot

Atta ashi ashi kar,– this was again demonstration with the wooden spatula in her hand she pretend to stir the mixture.

Her tone was now as if she came to the end of a long satisfying journey… atha benki gaal, now benki is fire in Kannada, it was as if saying okay everything ie fine, now you can light the stove.

My MIL said after this she just had to make carrot halva and at 9 am in the morning the family actually ate carrot halva, with our wise 5yr old, beaming at MIL.

With my younger daughter she was very clear; she was a molecule that included her and her mother. Everyone else was outside this, of course she was little confused where my mother and older daughter figured by the time she was 6months old, her world was she and mom, kaka that is older sister and ammamma that is maternal grandmother. She quite much operates on the same lines to the day. Of course papa has finally found his place.

All through her growing years, she never played house, her game was always that she was a gynaecologist, she would make calls to the hospital instruct Prema (incidentally is my aunts receptionist) to set the theatre for sisserian (caesarean) and prescribe medication. She would have to go for rounds. Post lunch she sit on me, and use a toy mike to narrate everything that happened at school, and when she was done she would wind up, “This is me reporting NDTV 24×7, see you same time, same channel tomorrow.” It was quite hilarious. The way she would mimic the reports, Barkha Dutt in particular.

There are so many more, I guess, each mother has their own cache of memories.

I am sharing my #MemoriesOfMotherhood with Bio Oil and BlogAdda. This Mother’s Day check out the Yummy Mummy calendar and  make a similar calendar of your own using the Bio Oil App.